Saturday, June 12, 2010

Naked

I unbuttoned my checkered shorts, and pulled them down. I let them fall slowly to the cold cemented floor.


Am I really doing this?



I stood there just staring at the ground, unsure if I should go through with what I was about to do.



Watching the wall clock as it ticked away mercilessly, I felt my heart pounding harder and harder against my chest. The person I dreaded seeing would be walking through the door any moment.



I sighed.



It's now or never.




Hesitantly, I slipped my fingers into my favourite seamless undies.


I took them off.

I've come this far, after all.



So I guess I might as well...





































... get my first Brazilian wax.




Kelly and I always wanted to give it a go, so last week, we dropped by Strip in Sunway Pyramid to make an appointment.


Seriously, why IS there even hair DOWN THERE? It's long, curly, unsightly, at times itchy, ugly, thick, ugly, and we don't even NEED it.

I get it, millions of years ago, you ain't got no clothes, so you need a little some some down there to cover your vah-jay-jay. BUT I THOUGHT EVOLUTION HAPPENED!

You got taller, your head got smaller, your toes got shorter, you look a little prettier, and yet you didn't do anything about the hair.

>:(







... so back to waxing.

I really like Strip.

The whole place is done up rather casually.



Lots of raw materials, like the cement floor with randomly inlaid bricks, exposed ceiling piping and vents, wire fences, things like that.


Judging by how the place looks, you really don't feel like you're about to get thousands of your hairs yanked out from... down there.


Well that is, until you're actually in THE room.
I know it doesnt look very nice here, the towels were neatly folded!
This was taken after... never mind.



So if you're one of those girls who always wanted to try it, but never got the balls to, I'll tell you EXACTLY what happens during a Brazilian wax so START READING NOW:



Your therapist (that's what they call them) will pass you a cleansing wipe and a towel, tell you to take your bottoms off and wipe your bits clean before wearing the towel.


Don't worry, she won't stand there and watch you strip. She'll leave, and you'll get to have one last look at your bush in the mirror (yes there's a mirror in the room). Here's the part where you bask in the surrealism of your situation. ("I can't belive I'm doing this!")


Better put your towel on fast, because she's gonna ask you if you're ready (hopefully you are), and come back in. In the meantime, it's up to you whether you wanna sit or lie down on the bed. I sat.


She'll ask you lie on your back, and she'll unwrap the towel, leaving your bush on display. That's not even the most awkward part.


THIS IS - she'll ask you to keep one leg straight, and bend the other outwards. Yes, now both your bush AND bits are on display. Beautiful. If this is the part you're afraid of, you don't have to be, really.

Come on,
HOW MANY bushes and vaginas do you think she's seen? Exactly.


Now that part's over, she'll get down to business (no pun intended). Oh, before I forget. For first-timers, VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT: OPT FOR HARD WAX, NOT SOFT/COMBI WAX. It will make your experience much much much less painful.


Your therapist will try to maintain a conversation between the both of you, this really helps in calming any nerves and keeping you occupied.

So basically, she'll dip a wooden waxing stick into the wax pot and spread it onto your skin, and this feels gooooood. Warm and goooood...

...Then in one quick motion, she'll peel it off. The wax, not your skin lah.

The pain, if any, will only be for a second. Yes the girl at the counter really wasn't lying.


The process will be repeated until all of your hair is gone. When I say all, I really mean ALL. Your Brazilian wax will include the removal of hair from your pubis, bikini line, around your vulva, and your butt crack. Yes, YOUR BUTT CRACK.


Okay, so I bet here's what you REALLY wanna know:



DID IT HURT?




Well, generally, some parts hurt quite a bit, but by the time I was out of the room, all the pain was gone. No kidding.



To help you understand better (and because I'm just awesome like that), I did a cute little illustration:


Behold... THE FEMALE PELVIC AREA.
(oh shut up.)

X marks the vagina.


BLUE - least painful, very very bearable. I give it a 2 out of 10.

ORANGE - moderately painful, may make you wince a little (especially in the lower region), but the pain just lasts for a second and there'll be a dull tingling sensation for a few minutes after. 3.5 of 10.

RED - this is the MOST painful part of the entire process. The area directly above your vulva. Ridiculously populated with thick, unruly hair. WILL MAKE YOU WINCE. Pain lasts for the next 10 seconds or so, but doesn't hurt enough to make you cry so no worries! 5 of 10.




Now that it's all over, she'll cover your bare, albeit a little raw "down there" with your towel and exit the room so you can finally put on your pants again.

Wait! Before you do that, take a second to stare in the mirror at the foreign piece of bare skin you can't remember when you last saw. Okay... so you're not quite used to it. Yet.


You've got your pants back on, and you're holding the door knob about to go out.


You think: Hey, that wasn't so bad!

:D




I went for the XXXX Strip (all off), and it cost me RM114.50. Yes it's expensive I KNOW! It's because I used Hard Wax, which is highly recommended when it comes to Brazilians because it's thicker than normal (soft/combi) wax, and is peeled, not ripped off, when it cools. AND it's made of chocolate, which looks pretty delicious...

But if you think you can take the pain (my therapist said you'll scream), it'll cost you RM88.


So, are you up for it? ;)









PS. Here's Strip's menu with pricing, if you're interested.
PPS. Check out some of Strip's cheeky posters!:






From America


4 comments:

zzanyy said...

Awesome post! and you are so brave! I will never have the guts to show my va-jay-jay to strangers even professionals. =/ I'm still sticking to shaving. =p

chris_lim said...

Wow a little insight into d female's world. U definitely hv guts.

The posters r creative lol.

nesca said...

i see. so that Strip shop is for this kind of waxing. nice sharing though!

sara said...

OMG laaaa. I always wanted to do it. But no guts, thumbs up girl!!!!


I am still squirming at the idea. I was squirming for you when reading your post. damn insightful